Desiderata

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Stop and check in with yourself.

Stop for a moment. Think about it.  You are luckier than you think. You probably have enough food.  You have a roof over your head.  Right at this very moment, you're able to read, to listen and to function.

Life is not as tough as you think.

Are you important?

We are part of something bigger than we can imagine.  Our role today is a tiny part of a truly enormous picture we cannot begin to conceive. In that picture we all have a role to play, from the smallest and most lowly serf, to the grandest prince. Our future as a species relies on each of us fulfilling that role, however humble. In this picture we are all equal. To fail to see this is to be blind and most monumentally ignorant.

To have a free Mandela, we needed a student demonstrator failing their course in a London college. To have a young entrepreneur we needed a Bill Gates creating a windows system. To see the beauty of the dawn across the mountains from my office, we need a window cleaner.

Managing Stress #10 Tell someone you love them.

Step 10: Tell someone you love them.

Even if they already know it. Tell them anyway. They may need to hear it.

Managing Stress #9 Throw away or sell some things you no longer need.

Step 9: Throw away or sell some things you no longer need.

Letting go of the things that are redundant is a healthy thing to do. After you have tried it once or twice, make a point of doing it once a month.

Managing Stress #8 Get through a day without spending any cash.

Step 8. Get through a day without spending any cash.

Try to be less of a consumer. You’ll find it liberating. As a student or a teenager you managed it everyday. Just for a change see if you can return to that state of mind.

Once you’ve done this once or twice, look for a few simple means of reducing expenditure. This could be as simple as driving less, or using public transport or your bicycle.

Did you know that in London, it’s not unusual to sit on a bus and find yourself next to a cabinet minister? Put aside your prejudice about public transport, and enjoy the cash you save.

Managing Stress #7 Spend less time at work.

Step 7: Spend less time at work.

It’s your life. Either through better organization, delegation or automation you should be able to reduce your workload a little. Some tasks are likely less important than you think. By addressing this you will be in better shape to do those tasks that actually are important.

List the top ten tasks you have to do. Arrange them in priority order. Take the bottom three and see if they can be handed off. Chances are there’s someone that will likely want the additional responsibility. Remember, you got into this state because you are probably doing too much. Make smart choices, and unload some of the workload.

Everyone likes to think they are essential. Most of them are wrong. Give yourself a break, and catch your breath.

Managing Stress #6 Ensure you are eating at least three meals a day.

Step 6: Ensure you are eating at least three meals a day.

Breakfast is essential. Lions eat early in the day. Are you a lion or are you breakfast?

If you are not eating breakfast there is one reason. It’s because you are managing your life badly. Grow up. Eat properly.

Managing Stress #5 Uncomplicate your life.

Step 5: Uncomplicate your life.

Reduce the amount of time you spend on people who do not positively contribute to your life. Some people hang around with us, but do little to contribute to our life. While we are in a precarious state, these individuals are a drain on our energy.

Create a list of your best friends. This is your ’A list’. It should have no more than 5 or 6 people on it. These people you can prioritize. For a couple of weeks at least, these are the only people you need to feel any need to be with.

About the ‘A list’. For the purposes of this exercise, only people you are actually close to can find their way onto this list. Someone you haven’t seen in the last month may be dear to you, but does not get on the list. It’s about people who are actually participating in your life directly today.

Managing Stress #4 Take control of the communication in your life.

Step 4: Take control of the communication in your life.

Start to be selective about which calls you take. Do a little gate keeping. There are calls you can always take, sometimes take and never take. Sort the callers into groups and then apply the rules strictly. Your default position should be that the phone goes to voicemail. Doing this you can choose when to return calls. You get control back.

If you accept calls from people you don’t need to, you will end up wasting a great deal of time. When you waste time, you have less time to do the things that need to be done. This is a simple fact of life. We have voicemail for a reason. Use it.

Do the same with email. Some emails never need to be read, let alone responded to. Your time is precious. Recognize the fact and impose your rules.

Managing Stress #3 Commit to translating the thought to deed.

Step 2: Commit to translating the thought to deed.

Deciding to change, and then doing nothing about it is the same as ‘doing nothing about it.’ If you are serious about changing your life you have to commit to the idea. That means embracing the frightening possibility that you don’t know how it will turn out. It means taking a leap into the unknown. Well, do you want to change or not? If you are happy being where you are, just continue doing the same stuff. Otherwise, you are going to have to embrace the change.

Sure, it’s frightening. So what? We all live with a bit of fear. Our victories are found by getting past those fears. It’s fine to be afraid - it certainly doesn’t have to stop you.

Step 3: Start small…But Start Now!

Einstein said ’Nothing happens till something moves.’ My son, Lance, said “Stand still and die”, just before he nailed me with his paint ball gun. The human body and the human mind demands motion.

However small, even if you’ve never exercised, this is important. Even if it is a 20 minute walk at lunch time, it means actually doing it.

If you are already exercising, it means stepping it up a notch (assuming you are not obsessively in the gym 4 or 5 hours a day). At Vancouver Hypnotherapy Inc., we suggest at least a 15% increase in physical exercise in a typical week, as you get past depression issues. The increase has to be sustainable and beneficial.

If you are looking for ways to exercise the list below is one that has proven very valuable and successful for clients.

Exercise ideas:

1. The evening walk (every evening). Listen to a pod cast, or your Ipod, but commit to doing it every evening for a couple of weeks.

2. Yoga. Two classes a week, if you’ve never done it. Don’t wait for a beginners class (you need sol,utions NOW) - just jump right in. Ask for a hatha yoga class, or go to hot yoga, if that appeals.

3. Get into the local swimming pool. Many recreation centers have a good pool, a hot tub and a sauna. Use all three once or twice a week.

4. Ballroom dancing. Do a beginners drop in lesson. Even go as far as taking a friend. It’s pushing both the physical and psychological comfort levels for many people, but this is the kind of thing that will move you to a happier place if you embrace it.

5. Cycle to work. Take a shirt to wear once their if you work up too much of a sweat.

You are going to have to do something - make a choice and go with it. Don’t delay, this is something that has to happen right away.

Managing Stress #2

Step 2: Commit to translating the thought to deed.

Deciding to change, and then doing nothing about it is the same as ‘doing nothing about it.’ If you are serious about changing your life you have to commit to the idea. That means embracing the frightening possibility that you don’t know how it will turn out. It means taking a leap into the unknown. Well, do you want to change or not? If you are happy being where you are, just continue doing the same stuff. Otherwise, you are going to have to embrace the change.

Sure, it’s frightening. So what? We all live with a bit of fear. Our victories are found by getting past those fears. It’s fine to be afraid - it certainly doesn’t have to stop you.

Managing Stress #1

When addressing either anxiety or stress we are forced to acknowledge something. Things are not working the way they should. If we do nothing, they will continue to ‘not work as they should’.

Step 1: Change what you do. It will change how you feel.

Much of life is trial and error. If what you are doing already isn’t working, that’s ok. It just means you have to do something very differently. Our first step is to acknowledge that we do need to change.

Many people fail to see this. They continue doing what they have always done, and so they feel the same. And then they are surprised. Allow yourself to try doing life differently, after all what do you have to loose?

What would you change to improve your chances of happiness?

Going Under Tonight - TV Pilot.

The importance of getting it wrong.

Making your life better.

You may be spending a lot of time and trouble trying to get a better life. A more productive approach is to make the life you have, better.

Some decisions are smarter than others...

Assuming a car costs $25,000, in the first year of depreciation you will see the value drop between $6,000 and $7,000 – assuming a buyer can be found at all on a one year old vehicle.

Many people selling after just one year experience a higher percentage loss, as they are selling into a market in which the buyer has many financing offers from car companies on the brand new models.

Buying a car second hand is often smarter, more satisfying and way cheaper in the long and short run.

The Fear Of Failure.

Many people are afraid of failure. Yet failure holds no fear for many others.

While living in Africa I learned to fly small planes. I have an enduring love of flight. As disturbing as it might sound, even the smell of aviation fuel sets my heart racing. I spent many happy hours flying over the highveldt in South Africa.

Of all the thrills one can derive from life, no moment can possibly compare to the first time you land an aircraft alone. There is no room for error. It’s a wonderful experience. And the idea of failure is frightening. And yet, it is worth it. At this point in my life I can barely remember the fear I experienced at the time, but I will never forget the rush of the airfield coming into view, the way the plane was lined up and the steady and safe descent. The elation of that landing will remain with me forever.

Failure has no power when you realize the risks of failure are far outweighed by the joys of success.

Three simple ways to get your work life under control.

My clients often tell me that they work so hard they have no time for themselves. I hear it all the time.

Here’s three simple tricks that will free up a lot of time.

1. Remember voicemail? That’s right, so does everyone else. It’s fine to let the majority of calls go to voicemail, people know what it does. Work through your messages in the mid morning and mid afternoon.

2. Focus your energies on what works. Remember the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of your revenue comes from twenty percent of your clients. Identify the twenty percent and focus your energy there. What do they have in common? What’s the easiest means to reach them? You just rebuilt your marketing plan.

3. Keep focused! Delegate the tasks that don’t need your attention. Automate what you can, so you can keep your eye on the ball.

When a client is too busy to go to yoga, the chances are they need to go to yoga more than ever before.